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Post Election Video Game Guide: Prepare or Cool Off

Today is quite possibly the weirdest Post Election day since I’ve been old enough to vote. America we sure did a thing! Some say it was good some say it was bad. I say I don’t think all our write ins for that Boston Dynamic Cheetah robot where counted correctly.

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Today is quite possibly the weirdest Post Election day I’ve experienced since becoming old enough to vote. Great job America we sure did … a thing! Some say it was good some say it was bad. I say I don’t think all our write ins for that Boston Dynamic Cheetah robot where counted correctly. No matter if you are happy or sad, today we could all use some decompression after months of political garbage. Why not use video games to mend our post election brains and bodies! Here is Nerd Life TX’s post election video game guide!

*Disclaimer: This article is satire. We don’t care who you voted for or why. We respect all our readers equally.

Dear God I Want To Forget Everything!

Need to blow off some steam after all the insanity of the election season? Maybe your candidate didn’t win (I’m looking at you Cheetah robot) and you need an outlet. Well that’s just fine by us here at Nerd Life! Here are 3 hand selected titles to get you through the dark times.

Overwatch

Best Multiplayer Option

A group of disenfranchised heroes thrown back into normal society after being shut down by the government rediscover the joy of teamwork! A perfect game if you need some social interaction but your feeling as though your government and your fellow man let you down. Your goal is honest and to the point with minimal thinking required. Jump in, team up with some like minded individuals, and just move that payload or capture that point! Heck if you’re feeling extra tense jump into ranked mode where you can join a group chat full of 13 year olds who are already yelling at each other and hop on the rage train!

Resident Evil

The “Oh god could this really happen now!?” Game

First of all, I want to stress you should only be playing the PS1 version released in 1996. You need to FEEL that nostalgia and let it take you back to a far different time and place. Allow those horrible tank controls to soothe your mind. Or at least displace some of that hate you’re currently feeling. In this game one of two lightly armed lone survivors takes down a huge evil international corporation! That’s right you can take down an evil corporation ALL BY YOURSELF. Bonus you get to kick the hell out of a few mindless zombies. This can be particularly therapeutic if you pretend the zombies are that one vaguely racist cubical mate you have from the office who JUST got into voting this year.

GTA V

The King of Blowing off Steam Games

This one needs no introductions. Sometimes you just need to punch a stranger to feel better. Unfortunately, in real life punching a stranger often ends up with you getting hit back, getting a free car ride to jail, or getting to feel the sweet sweet electrical zap of a taser. It’s much safer to do it in a virtual environment! If you get board of crippling and sucker punching NPC’s you can always hop online! After a short 30 minute loading process you will be able to use your mic to harass other players as you run down the streets of Los Santos in your underwear with a machete.

What If this is the end!?

Fear the end times may be coming soon? Don’t worry we here at Nerd Life TX still have you covered! Even though we won’t be bending our knee to the Cheetah robot overlords this time, plenty of other disasters could occur! It’s best to be prepared! These 3 games will help test you and prepare for the impending apocalypse!

The Culling

Embrace the Future of Entertainment!

If we’re being honest with each other we know what the most dangerous predator is. Man of course! Prepare yourself to be the television sensation of the future with The Culling. Craft basic tools and weapons while trying to survive in an ever-shrinking combat zone! Just for fun weapon drops spawn at several locations forcing you to come out of hiding and face off against fellow humans! Do you have what it takes to be the next big television sensation in the post apocalypse?!

State of Decay

Leader simulator 2016

Obviously if our second game choice taught us anything it’s that the zombies ARE coming. If everything goes tits up will you be prepared to defend yourself!? State of Decay lets you figure out what kind of leader you are going to be when it all comes crashing down. Do you leave that family alone to die in the zombie infested warehouse? Should you raid the house full of hillbillies with guns? Learn to make the hard calls now! That way when the pressure is on you’re able to shut off all your feelings and leave that man in the wheelchair behind!

Rust

Post Post Apocalypse survival simulator

So, humanity is finished and we’ve been stomped back into the dirt. What do we do now? Well bash your neighbor’s door in and drop a rock on them while they sleep! You need a house and he’s got one, sometimes you just have to TAKE what you need. That’s right, Rust will help you learn to survive when there’s nothing left. Arm and protect yourself from other people because they WILL try to kill you! Even when they seem nice at first. You will learn to give in to your caveman like instincts. Like running away from helicopters, running naked without getting your bits snagged by foliage, and killing a bear with a stick. If nothing else Rust will help you to prepare yourself for death and your inevitable loneliness as you drift through life doing nothing more than existing.

The End Is Nigh

In closing just remember to take your consoles and PC’s into your foil lined disaster bunkers. Allow video games to help keep your spirits high. If you don’t make it at least leave your wicked rad game collection for other survivors to enjoy. The humans left after the apocalypse need to know how fantastic The Last of Us was. Hopefully these suggestions made you laugh or at least helped to ease the tension of the preceding events.  What games are you playing today to help you cope? What games do you play to release stress?

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